Brother David. Tell me about exhaustion.

I looked up at Brother David, the nearest thing I had to a truly wise person in my life, and found myself almost blurting.

"Brother David?"
I uttered in such an old, petitionary, Catholic way that I almost thought he was going to say, " Yes, my son?" But he did not; he turned his face toward me, following the spontaneous note of desparate sincerity, and simply waited.

"Tell me about exhaustion," I said.

He looked at me with an acute, searching, compassionate ferocity for the briefest of moments, as if trying to sum up the entirety of the situation and without missing a beat, as if he had been waiting all along, to say a life-changing thing to me. He said, in the form both of a question and an assertion:

"You know the antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest?"

"The antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest," I repeated woodenly, as if I might exhaust myself completely before I reached the end of the sentence. "What is it then?"

"The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness."

He looked at me for a wholehearted moment, ...


"Crossing the unknown sea" by David Whyte

Thoughts in Solitude -ThomasMerton

My Lord God,

I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.


Thoughts in Solitude pp.83 -ThomasMerton
(bridges to contemplative living with thomas merton
one: entering the school of your experience)

Letters to Marc about Jesus -"Secularize"Jesus

Henri Nouwen "Letters to Marc about Jesus - Living a Spiritual Life in a Material World"

In the course of writing, I have discovered for myself the great extent to which I am inclined to "secularize"Jesus. Instinctively, I look to Jesus for a cheap liberation, a solutiuon to my problems, help with my desire for success, getting even with my opponents, and a good measure of publicity (recognition).

I look to Jesus for freedom from the physical world, but not freedom to the Spiritual Life.

Isn't Jesus enough? (John 3:16)

gIsn't Jesus enough?

John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

The song says "Jesus, God's righteousness revealed. Jesus, redemption sacrifice. Jesus, the expression of God's love. Jesus, God's holiness displayed."

God asks me "Isn't Jesus enough for you, Li Boey?"
Though I really want and hope to say within the deepest of my heart to God that Jesus is enough. But I know I still am not able to totally own that reply.

"God, Jesus isn't enough for me yet."

"Why?"I ask myself why isn't Jesus enough?

And my heart replies me"It isn't that Jesus isn't enough but I want more than enough. I want what Jesus will not promise."
Because I am scared, I am confused, I am insecured, I want more.

God, help me
to see Jesus clearly
to love him dearly
to follow him closely.

so that Jesus is enough for me.

Agnus Dei - Lamb of God

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona nobis pacem.

Lamb of God, you take away the sin of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, you take away the sin of the world, have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, you take away the sin of the world, grant us peace.

Jesus, Lamb of God, have mercy on us.
Jesus, bearer of our sins, have mercy on us.
Jesus, redeemer of the world, grant us peace.

O Lamb of God, that takest away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us.
O Lamb of God, that takest away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us.
O Lamb of God, that takest away the sins of the world, grant us thy peace.

Robinson Crusoe

When I feel like having no way to go, I like to remember the story of Robinson Crusoe. I don't remember much of the story (and I read the Children Illustrated version) but just like to take comfort in the part that he "needed" to stay on the island for 28 years.

A young man weighs two very different options for his future. Robinson can either settle down to a comfortable career in law or set sail for faraway places, as he passionately longs to do. Although his family urges him to choose the safer path, Robinson cannot resist the lure of the sea.

Robinson Crusoe who hopes to find fame and fortune on the high seas, but a fierce ocean storm wrecks his ship and leaves him stranded by himself on an uncharted island. Left to fend for himself, Crusoe seeks out a tentative survival on the island, … …

Blue moments

I was 25 penniless, alone, frightened and ill. I was living in a garret. Ihad no friends and I was far from family. My days were spentworking in an antique resotration shop of an embittered alcoholic man, and my nights were spent wandering the streets watching the oassinglives of people who neither spoke my language nor knew of my cares.
I had never been so alone.

The mother of the man for whom Iworked was a very insightful woman. As a child, she had watched the Nazis comeinto her classroom and take the Jewish children away. No one spoken of it and class went on as if nothing had happened. But day by day, night by night,she saw her friends and playmates disappear.

She became a watcher and survivor.

One day she took me inside.
"I watch you," she said. "I see the loneliness in your eyes. I watch your heart running away. You are like so many people. When life is hard, they try to look over the difficulty into the future. Or they long for the happiness of the past. Time is their enemy.The day they are lving is their enemy. They are dead to the moment. They live only for the future or the past. But that is wrong.

"You must learn to seek the blue moment," she said.

She sat down beside me and continued. "The blue moment can happen any time or any place. It is a moment when you are truly alive to the world around you. It can be a moment of love or a moment of terror. You may not know it when it happens. It may only reveal itself in memory. But if you are patient and open your heart, the blue moment will come. My childhood classmates are dead, but I have the blue moments when we looked in each other's eyes"

I turned and stared into her lined and gentle face.

"Listen carefully to me," she continued."This is a blue moment. I really believe it. We will never forget it. At this moment you and I are closer to any other human beings. Seize this moment. Hold it. Don't turn fromit. It will pass andwewill be as we were. But this is a blue moment,and the blue moments string us together like pearls to make up your life. It is up to you to find them. It is upto you to bring them alive in others."

"Always seek the blue moment," she said, and returned to her work.


(Taken from Small Graces - the quiet gifts of everyday life, by Ken Nerburn)