I am stuck. Does it get easier?

I am stuck. Does it get easier?
No... Yes, it gets easier.
Oh yeah? look at you.
Thanks.
The more you know who you are, then what you want, the less you let things upset you.

I just don't know what I am suppose to be.
Should I be a writer but I hate what I write.
I think of taking pictures, they are just mediocre.

You will figure that out. I am not worry about you. Keep writing.

(Lost In Translation)

When death visits

You don't know when death will take you this day.
Yes, since you don't know, don't bother yourself with it.

(CSI Miami)

Prayer Made Perfect

Prayer is made perfect
when the timeless is discovered

The timeless is discovered
through clarity of perception

Perception is made clear
when it is disengaged
from perceptions and
from all considerations
of personal loss or gain.

Then the miraculous is seen, and the heart is filled with wonder.


Eccl 3:11
God has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Spiritual Direction given to Magdalene of Canossa

A Spiritual Director has no right to determine his penitent's choice one way or the other. He may advice her for one rather than the other, but only according to the sentiments he detects in a heart that is moved by grace and by the Lord's Spirit.

Therefore, I say question your heart.
I suggest you put it to test by trying to desire to accept this match. Then listen carefully to what it has to say and where it inclines, where you experience peace.

Watch if it persists in a steady and generous refusal of that state, see what its motivations are, whether they spring from the senses or from a desire to serve according to God's providential plan.

What I wish though is that you listen to your heart, because I am quite sure that He is holding it in His hands.
That is why I can tell you to attach great importance to your inclination. Whether it be for one or the other state.

+++++
Unable to see clearly in Magdalene's vocation, the priest is trying to bide his time. He is sure only of one thing, namely, that she is not called to strict cloister.
In his opinion, her insistence to become "the discalced of the Lord" is just a natural inclination, more a search of self-satisfaction than a desire to please God.

He was convinced that Magdalene's indulgence in such thoughts was in itself dangerous, since it would only serve to distract her from God's plan for her.
"Be careful lest this thought prevent you from making good use of your time, and divide your heart, making it unwillingly to spend itself wholly and always for God."

++++
O my daughter, the more the Lord gives Himself to you, the more you think you are divided from Him.
He is, however, by no means displeased with you, though, to be true, he has good reasons to somewhat hurt by your lack of trust and by your timidity.

If God grants you faith in my humble opinion, believe me wheh I assure you that you are making good progress, and that God dwells in you.

Courage, my daughter, your heart belongs wholly to Him.

Prayer of Surrender

I surrender myself to you, Lord and ask:
Put an end to my restlessness.

I give you my will.
I don't not believe any longer that I can answer myself: what I am doing and what is happening through me. Lead me and show me your will.

I give you my thoughts.
I do not believe any longer that I am so intelligent that I can understand myself: my whole life or other people. Teach me to think your thoughts.

I give you my plans.
I do not believe any longer that my life finds meaning in what I reach through my plans. I entrust myself to your plan for you know me.

My anxiety about others I give to you. I do not believe any longer with my anxiety I can improve anything. That reminds with you. Why should I be anxious?

My anxiety about the power of others I give to you.
You were powerless before the mighty. The mighty have fallen, you live.

My fears of my own failures I give to you.
I don't have to be a successful person if I wish to be blessed according to your will.

All insoluble questions, all discontent within myself, all my cramped hope, I give to you.
I give up running into locked doors and wait for you. You will open them.

I give you myself. I belong to you Lord.
You love me. You have me in your hand.
I thank You.

I want to believe, help me overcome my unbelief

Jesus asked Peter "Why do you doubt?"

I assumed Peter himself did not know why he doubted at the moment, when the winds started to blow and the waves got stronger.

Many of us will echo what the father whose son was suffering from epilepsy was pleading "I want to believe, help me overcome my unbelief!"

Often, we can have faith on behalf of another person as it is distant, it is not us, we can apply the universal principle of faith of the God in the Bible we know.
I guess for Peter it is because his pant is on fire, he is the one standing on the water.
But when it is our backyard on fire, I guess we will share the plea of the man above.

Assurance and Truth

John 8:45 Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me!

We want assurance not truth.

But it is only in the truth we can find assurance.

O Come O Come Emmanuel

As we “climax” towards 25 Dec, do have a moment to remember and rejoice.

“Still we have to keep speaking about Christ, the Anointed One, Jesus, he will save us from our sins, Emmanuel, God with us, as we keep speaking about Christmas. If we do not, our celebrations easily lose their depth. And then instead of being essential to our spiritual life, they become pious ornaments of a moral respectable existence.”

(Reused and reworded "Reaching Out" by Henri Nouwen.)

+++
Though Advent (literally "arrival") has been observed for centuries as a time to contemplate Christ's birth, most people today acknowledge it only with a blank look. For the vast majority of us, December flies by in a flurry of activities, and what is called "the holiday season" turns out to be the most stressful time of the year. We want to sense the deeper meanings of the season but grasp at them in vain; and in the end, all the bustle leaves us frustrated and drained.

Even we who do not experience such stress and tensions - who genuinely love Christmas - often miss its point. Content with candles and carols and good food, we bask in the warmth of familiar traditions, in reciprocated acts of kindness, and in feelings of general goodwill. How many of us remember the harsh realities of Christ's first coming: Amid the sparkle and the color and music of the day’s celebration we do well to remember that the entry of God into his own world was almost frightening quiet and heartbreakingly humble. In sober fact there is little romance or beauty in the thought of a young woman looking desperately for a place where she could give birth to her first baby.

How many of us share the longing of the ancient prophets, who awaited the Messiah with such aching intensity that they foresaw his arrival thousands of years before he was born? If the essence of Advent is expectancy, it is also readiness for action: watchfulness for every opening, and willingness to risk everything for freedom and a new beginning. Mary did. So did the shepherds and the wise men of the East. So can each of us, wherever we are. That is why the imagery of nativity scenes is not sufficient to explain the Christmas message. Yes, God came into the feeding trough of an animal. But it was not only as a baby that he lay there. This child was the same man who was crucified and who rose again.

Advent marks something momentous: God's coming into our midst. That coming is not just something that happened in the past. It is a recurring possibility here and now, a yearly opportunity for us to consider the future, second Advent - the promised coming of God's kingdom on earth. Yet I believe that at least once a year we should look steadily at the historic fact, and not at any pretty picture. At the time of this astonishing event only a handful of people knew what had happened.


Adapted from Charles Moore Meaning Of Advent and J. B. Phillips, Dangers Of Advent

Encourage

This word "Encourage" always bothers me. As a cell leader, we are to be an encourager.

En courage - to give courage. So one must have courage to give courage.

What then is courage?
is it strong or soft? is it nice or nasty? is it clear or confusing? is it solid or fluid? is it formed or formless? is it defined or figured out?

From Latin cor, “heart”. cor : (anatomy) heart (figuratively) soul, mind


And where do I find my courage?
From the questions, the awareness. From the books, the music. From being engaged, from being detached. From the moments, the encounters.


So I guess this is the courage I can give.

(2008.12.04)
I awoke with a formless fear from a nap without dreams.
I went to the bench, sat and watched the night.
The dark enfolded the kiosk where cars drifted by.
I bid the kiosk good-night and made a return to my bed.

Year End Note of Appreciation

It is the year end and time when companies will organize occassions to appreciate the staff for the year.

I am due to attend one next week and I am to give a note of appreciation of the staff - together with their bonus, increment (if any) and long service award.
In this current climate, when all things seem to have depreciated in their values, when everyone suffers from depreciation, how to deliver a note of 'appreciation'?

How meaningful is it for them to receive this note of appreciation from me or how meaningful is it for me to deliver it?

Maybe the note should be first delivered by the recipients to themselves. Otherwise, the note may sound strange to them, sound 'like a formality and insincere' or worse, sacarsm.

Do you sense an increase in value in yourself this year or from then to now?

An increase in value, an appreciation
- not from the number of years in services, or staying another year in service
- not from an increase in salary, or a promotion in rank or responsibility
- not from reading more books, giving more talks
- not from KPIs such as church attendance, baptism rate, budget and programme & activities completed.

Nor am I talking about being a better person, a moral person.

If we take away all these, are there still reasons and notes of appreciation that we can affirm ourselves, that others can affirm us and we can affirm others?

This note will need quite a consideration.

Retreat 2008-12

But the LORD provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights.
From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God.
"When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, LORD, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple.
"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.

+++
I went on a retreat recently and the passage of Jonah 2:2 was on the table of the room I had “In my distress, I called to the Lord and he answered me.” Since the story of Jonah was last preached at church, somewhat I felt a strong identification of Jonah in the big fish. So when I saw the verse in the room, I “assumed” it was for me for the retreat, as I do feel like Jonah trapped in a vacuum of time and space in the stomach of the fish. So I read the whole chapter and the verse in red seemed to catch on me.

O shit, the Lord is speaking about me. So I 'spent' more "spiritual exercise" efforts on this 'revelation'.
Sorely unsuccessful. Nothing happened. And when friends asked how my retreat was, my only comment was it was too short.

What did I do during the 3D2N?

- I walked aimlessly through the Labyrinth with the verse that "spoke" to me
- I watched the early mist rising over the woods on a dampened seat
- I took a stroll and heard the echoes of flutes bouncing off the walls of the quarry
- I took part in an morning service with Christ hanging from the air and the Priest asking "are you the wise or the foolish builder?"
- I stood beneath the bamboo trees to listen to the leaves rustling before the rain came in
- I walked the neighbourhood and encounterd nobody
- I watched the night enfolding the kiosk, while cars drifted in and out.

Then I awoke with a formless fear from a nap without dreams.
When I thought it has all ended, I remembered my first retreat when Christ said "Come and you will see."

"Lord, when did we see you?"

Matthew 25: 34 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you...' "

Such earnest innocence in the reply. I can almost hear it - the utter surprise uttered to the Lord.
"Lord, when did we see you...?"

"You mean it was a test from you, my Lord? Oh, how could it be? We did not even give much thought to it. I don't mean we do it thoughtlessly, never Lord. But it was so natural, Lord. There was always only one thought, and we never have second thought about it. And our hearts were filled with joy when we were at it. Well, it was hard work but there was no burden at all, Lord."

"Lord, when did we see you?"

"Well, my child. Indeed, you did not see me, because I was living in you."

It was not easy to be a Pharisee

the Pharisee
The pharisees were the experts in Israel as regards fulfillment of the law. They were the holy ones, and their name means "the separated ones." In other words, their striving for justice and holiness separated them from the run-of-the-mill Jew.
It was not easy to be a pharisee, it entailed fasting and prayer and a scrupulous fidelity to countless laws and their application. It was involved and arduous.
It was quite understandable that any man doing all those things would think himself superior to others.

And I believe if I am in the shoe of a Pharisee, I would think likewise too, but in a more subtle way than how our Lord described in the Gospel.

Don't I?
I count (in my mind) the sacrifices I made for the Lord
I "whine" (rather pray) about the "burden" of the ministry
I checklist the ministries I serve in, especially the important ones.
I am (so what) proud of my knowledge of the Scriptures compared to others.
I milestone my "journey" with the Lord

King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, all fell down and worshipped

Daniel 3:1-7
1 King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, ninety feet high and nine feet wide, and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon.

6 Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace."

7 Therefore, as soon as they heard the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp and all kinds of music, all the peoples, nations and men of every language fell down and worshipped the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.

Bow or Burn.
Order given, the drill is on - Image, Music, All fall down. Automatic.
Don't think about it. Panic was the order of the thing, fear ruled and ALL FELL DOWN AND WORSHIPPED.
You think you can resist. Think again. You really need to THINK. But can you think?
The image of gold, 90ft by 9ft, totally obnoxious right in your face, leaving you no space to think.
Bow or Burn.

King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold,


all fell down and worshipped

Locks and Curls - Good bye, see you next year.

Reflection - Sunday Sermon 2008.10.26

Daniel 3:1-25

Why did God only appear at the moment for Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego?
But there might times God did not appear, for this case God delivered Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.


"God could have but He didn't" - A commonly heard response.

God could have but He didn't!
God could have but He didn't?
God could have but He didn't.

The utterance of the response spells a different meaning. All three are valid as anger, perplexity are acceptable limited human responses to a Almighty and Sovereign limitless God, but we do pray as we understand our limitation and God's limitless, we will choose the third response.

ProVision - Seek Ye First

The word "Provision" spelt a new meaning to me today as I was reading through Genesis 12.
Many a times it is thought as a safety net, material security.
But the word was opened to me of its purpose. Provision is pro vision. So it is a derived word, with meaning derived from another word.

The question for me is for all the provisions I have, ask and demand, do I have a vision? Is there a vision before the provision? Is there is a purpose and meaning for the provision?

I guess I could say there is but the issue for me is that the process is reversed.
Rather than vision first, then provision. We seek provision as an end to its own, not a mean to an end or we use the provision is for a vision that is not. Soon provision shrivels for its lack of vision - its purpose and meaning.

Soon we get scare, confused, insecure, wondering what has happened, running to God for help, demanding the provision, claiming the vision.

I always wonder by some people's show of courage despite the seeming "little" provision they have. I guess that is because I have understood the purpose and meaning of provision.

I assume I am a typical Christian of my generation - we make demands for provision as our rights in God's name. God's obligation to us because he loves us. But didn't we also say God is no man's debtor.

Chasing around the provision and exhausted for the lack of vision.

I will have to ask myself do I have a vision for my life, my money, my job?
And where does the vision come from? As from where the vision come, so will the provision.

Matthew 6
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

God is nigh - Angelus by Millet

It has been bad and worse news each day. I was looking at this picture (Angelus by Millet) last night. Months back I came upon a commentary and reflection in the local Chinese newspaper (it was a great pity I did not keep a copy of it).

The painting depicts a man and a woman standing in a field. They are farmers. He holds his cap reverently as he stands with bowed head, and she in a white cap and long blue apron over her dress clasps her hands as a prayerful look sets her face. They pause in prayer near the end of the work day. At the woman's feet is a basket of potatoes, and at her far side rests a wheelbarrow full of empty sacks. At the side of the man is a pitchfork spiked upright in the ground. The breaking clouds are blushed with light as birds flit in the twilight. The viewer can almost hear the bells ringing in the spire of the church in the distant right of the painting.

Towards evening, as the day and a day of hard work are ending, having only harvested a basket of potatoes, with the sun setting and the sound of church bell ringing in the air, this painting helps to remind me to put my trust in the Lord.

A song we used to sing at the end of a session of Girl Guide gathering durng school day:

Thanks and praise, for our day, 'Neath the sun, 'neath the stars, 'Neath the sky. As we go, this we know, God is nigh.

God is nigh.

Last Day

A frequent question we have been asked is "What will you do if this is the last day of your life?", as part of examination of life. Would you tell someone you love them, would you seek forgiveness from some, would you share Christ with a close one.

I felt I have been sidetracked by the question itself.

When I was recently asked the question again recently, three images crossed my mind -
(1) my last day at work at UBS in 2001, I remembered going through my works (files - hard, soft), clearing some and keeping some. Last to leave office that day, on purpose, I wanted some moments alone to do the clearing.
(2) a typical Saturday at home, at my study table, noting down my thoughts, going through the items in my room, clearing some and keeping some.
(3) a man at deathbed, seeking solace in the presence of a priest, in his words of receiving and giving forgiveness.

When I put them together, I found I hope my last day of my life to be as such:
As normal as a typical Saturday, eating the breakfast my mum bought, with my dad working on his accounts on the kitchen table, going through the things I accumulated over the week at my study table, clearing some and keeping some. Have lunch maybe with a close pal, buy a few small indulgances of a typical weekend mall trip. Keep a nap after lunch. Wake up, have an afternoon tea, at my desk to be inspired to journal down some thoughts. Watch some TV, listen to some of my music, at my desk again to be inspired to journal down some more thoughts. Then read a little something before I sleep, hearing my dad and my mum returning from outside.

I want it to be as normal as possible, not gripped by fears, regrets, and anxiety of the things to do.
What I will wish for is peace to guard my heart throughout.
I wish I would not take out my life saving for splurge, or to tell anyone it is my last.

Throughout the day, while on my little common activities, I shall be going through my life, clearing some and keeping some.
Seeking forgiveness and forgiving those who and which are brought to mind,
Giving thanks for the small graces brought to rememberance,
Asking relief from the regrets on things done and undone,
The hardest may be the lingering faces of loved ones.

I do not know when the day will come, though it sure will come and it may come as a theif, I pray I am constantly cultivating the peace to enjoy it and leave it.

Atonement

A thin haze blew in from the ocean, hiding the mainland behind a veil of gauze. Aunt Flo grew quiet; she sat on the windward deck beside me and looked over the water toward the dim and fading shore. After a while she tiurned toward me and asked, "The word atonement - do you know what it means?"

"It means to atone for your sins. To make amends for your wrongs." I had given her a quick response, mouthing empty words, because I thought that was what she wanted to hear.

"No," she said,"it means at-one-ment - to be at one with God."

I was dumbfounded by the way she broke the syllables down; I thought she was toying with words, playing silly parlor game. But my mind wouldn't let go of what she said, and the more I thought about at-one-ment as opposed to atonement, the more her insight appealed to me.

Years later, I discovered the concept wasn't originated from Aunt Flo. Rabbis often refer to at-one-moment during Yom Kippur, the hi.gh holy Day of Atonement for Jews.

~ "First You Have to Row a Little Boat" by Richard Bode

The Vocation of Being Right and Being Relevant

There are many reasons that we are in this financial crisis. One is the challenge of the vocation of being right and being relevant.

As a member of church, having attended church services over 10 years, the question sometimes at the back of my mind is “Why do people come to church, so patiently and so persistently weeks after weeks, yet somewhat know something is amiss within their them, within church and the Services?”

This is a question the clergy and the leaders of the church need some consideration and owe a reply “Are we giving them THAT?”

THAT is
- The image one has when we mention church or going to church.
- The image one has when we mention the word “Priest”, “Father”, “Pastor”.

What is the image one has when we mention “church” or “coming to church”?
What is the image one has when we mention the word “Priest”, “Father”, “Pastor”?

Ask again, ask again, ask again, ask until they really think about what they say
- a very different set of replies may emerge. What we have initially sought but lost along the way, before we were “influenced”.

Weeks after weeks despite feeling a little amiss, I come seeking solace with God, in God. (We are not arguing “God is everywhere”). When I see my “Priest”, “Father”, “Pastor”, I want to a man of God, bearing the image of God – in him I see God and find solace in his words, in his actions.

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us."


The calling of being right and being relevant – it is required of all of us, not just the clergymen.

So, likewise, savings should be safe.

(Coincidentally, there is an article on Straits Time today “Church pastors like none other - They have built their churches from scratch into two of the richest and biggest in Singapore." There maybe or may not be connection between the two articles as I have not read the other.)

Wander, Wonder, Wonder

A woman in a coma was dying. She suddenly had a feeling that she was taken up to heaven and stood before the Judgement Seat.



"Who are you?" a Voice said to her.

"I'm the wife of the mayor." she replied.

"I did not ask you whose wife you are but who you are."

"I'm the mother of four children."

"I did not ask whose mother you are, but who you are."

"I'm a school teacher."

"I did not ask you what your profession is but who you are."



And so it went. No matter what she replied, She did not seem to give a satisfactory answer to the question. "Who are you?"



"I'm a Christian."

"I did not ask what your religion is but who you are."

"I'm the one who went to church every day and always helped the poor and needy."

"I did not ask you what you did but who you are."



She evidently failed the examination for she was sent back to earth. When she recovered from her illness she determined to find out who she was. And that made all the difference.



~ The Prayer of the Frog (Anthony de Mello)



Exodus 33

Moses said to the LORD, "You have been telling me, 'Lead these people,' but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me.' If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people."


The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."
15 Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. 16 How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"



My PRESENCE will go with you, and I will give you REST.

Testimony - Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.

At church, we are encouraged to give testimonies in the presence of fellow brothers and sisters, to give account of God's goodness in our lives.
Sometimes we have embarrassing moments when pastor gives an invitation to the congregation to come up to share a testimony and no one comes forward. Everyone either browses through the bulletin, pretends to pray, looks to the floor and gives those non-eye contact glares.

How come? What is a testimony? Is it a circumstance-based, an event-triggered happening in OUR LIVES, and God responded with some other (nice) happenings towards it? Is it a chain of "active" happenings or a "passive" discovery?

The woman went back to the town and said to the people, "Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Christ?"

Nothing seems happening here.

Popped!

Recently I had an issue with a church friend, and thank God we have resolved it between ourselves. No need for pastors, church elders or other church friends.

It started after I was late for my ushering duty at church. After that incident, at times, when I arrived at Service, I received the remark "How come you are not late?"
That upset me greatly and I was filled with frustrations and angry thoughts throughtout Service. And I was thinking "Now, all my preparations for Service are gone. This person has just spolit it all for me." And I ended up feeling shitty about being shitty over the whole thing.

Such preparation!
"God I want to worhsip you, I prepared myself to worship you. But that person! That one remark just vaporised everything."
What a prideful preparation, which cannot even withstand a petty prick.

Hey you people! Can you please stop your endless chatters behind there! I am trying to worship God in front here! And I cannot do it with the echoes of your chat, up there in my mind.

Revelation, Recognition and Response

Riddle is meant to be deciphered and Mystery is meant to be revealed.

Is God a riddle or a mystery?
To give God consideration or to make God comprehension?

Revelation <-> Recognition <-> Response

All have been sufficiently revealed but not all have sufficiently responsed.
For lack of sufficient recognition?

10 Things to Invest In

I am making up a list of 10 (?) recommendations for investment and definitely I hope to make something out of it.
Invest In

1) The Missing Link of Singapore Education system

2) A "Retire Into" Job

3) Knowing yourself

4) A mini library to grow old with

5) A period of economically non-productivity

6) ...

7) ...

8) ...

9) ...

1o) ...

jonah - in the shelter house of God

jonah - in the shelter house of God

a man of big ego
in the stomach of a big fish
in the midst of a big ocean

brought to the lowest point of earth and of his life
trapped into a time and space

still oblivious

Dali

"Lawless"-ness vs. "Sinless"-ness

What does the Cross accomplish?

theology of glory and theology of cross

A theology of glory works like that. It operates on the assumption that what we need is optimistic encouragement, some flattery, some positive thinking, some support to build our self-esteem. Theologically speaking it operates on the assumption that we are not seriously addicted to sin, and that our improvement is both necessary and possible. We need a little boost in our desire to do good works.

Gerhard Forde, On Being a Theologian of the Cross p.16

My (self) Identity has become my Idol

At a recent teaching, when the preacher was explaining the meaning of Idoltary - anything we want badly, our over-arching desire, our "god".

Sure, I have idols like money, career... but a more subtle one was revealed to me when I was thinking about the matter4 what my over-arching desire and the word popped out was "self-identity".
I was able to recognize it immediately.

My pursue for Awareness (or Spiritual Awareness)
Has it subtly become a pursue ahead of God?
Though it started sincerely as a pursue of God, but has it become a pursue of its own?

I think it has. How insidious is our heart!

Morality

Morality may be a hard concept to grasp, but we acquire it fast. A preschooler will learn that it's not all right to eat in the classroom, because the teacher says it's not. If the rule is lifted and eating is approved, the child will happily comply. But if the same teacher says it is also OK to push another student off a chair, the child hesitates. "He'll respond, "No, the teacher shouldn't say that."

In both cases, somebody taught the child a rule, but the rule against pushing has a stickiness about it, one that resists coming unstuck even if someone in authority countenances it. That's the difference between a matter of morality and one of mere social convention and somewhat the kids feel it innately.

Where do these intuitions come from?

But of course, moral judgement is pretty consistent from person to person. Moral behaviour, however is scattered all over the chart. The rules we know, even the ones we intuitively feel, are by no means the rules we always follow.

And why are we so inconsistent about following where they lead us?

Morality, trying to achieve goodness through our behaviours, has somewhat failed in everyone of us.

(Time Magazine, 03 Dec 2007)

Law and Wretchedness

24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?
25 Thanks be to God— through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Before I can utter "Thanks be to God" in verse 25, I have to recognise the Law and my Wretchedness under the Law.
If I have never seen my utter wretchedness with the law, what thanks am I giving?

7 What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, Do not covet.

Do I hate the law? No!

12 So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good.

The Law makes me really my wretchness and thankful for the Cross.

Sermon 27.07.2008: The CROSS - the cure for sin (our sin)

The meaning of the Cross, the Crucification has always been hard for me to grasp. Despite acknowldging Christ died on the Cross for me, the reason for the death and the significance of the death is beyond me.
Sin - for me (I assume for many of us) may be a bit hard to understand.... Did OK at school, law abidding citizen, work hard to earn a living, treated friends and parents reasonably well, serve in church...
So to see myself as a sinful person... hmmmm..... I may not be the perfect person, but to reckon myself as sinful person...to reckon my shortcoming as sins (rather as imperfections).....hmmmmm


What the Gospel is - The CROSS. The CROSS - the cure for sin (our sin)

The type of cure administered (sleepover, aspirin, antibiotic, chemo, surgery) depends on the type of illness.
The cure of sin (our sin) administered by God is the death of His son on the Cross

Have it occured to me the dosage administered by God for my sin?
In view of the “dosage” God administered, do I see sin as God see it?
Do I hate sin as God hates sin?

It is said “The CROSS is the most dramatic act of the wrath, the judgement and the love of God. We will not appreciate the cure unless we understand how sick we are. We will not appreciate the Cross unless we see how ugly (our) sin is.”

Suffering and Positive Psychology

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. ~ M Scott Peck
To live is to suffer. To survive is to find meaning in the suffering. if there is a purpose in life at all, there must be a purpose in suffering and in dying.~ Viktor Frankl


Positive Psychology is founded on the belief that people want more than an end to suffering. People want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play. ~ Authentic Happiness

Treasure - For a cynical friend in mind

After "Treasure" was posted, I was reading of the biography of a pastor and the conversation between Saint Francis and Brother Masseo returned to me of a friend - who tends to see things in a very cynical manner. Friends often approach him for advice and counsel, even I do, as he does care and gives good counsel. Of course, many of us also like to approach him for his cynical attitude.
But as I recall this conversation, I ask if being cynical is part of being wise. Well, now I know it is not at all. I choose to know God's overpowering grace despite man's wickedness, rather just the latter.


And when Saint Francis saw that the pieces of bread obtained by Brother Masseo were far better and larger than his own, he was filled with great joy, and said,
"O Brother Masseo, we are not worthy of so great a treasure!" And when he had repeated these words many times,
Brother Masseo replied, "Dearest father, how can one call this treasure, when we are so poor, and lack so many things we need? We have no cloth, no knife, no dish, no bowl, no house, no table, and no man or woman to wait on us."
Then Saint Francis answered: “And that is what I call a great treasure, where nothing has been provided by human labour, but everything has been given by divine Providence, as we can see clearly in the bread that we have collected, in this fair table of stone, and in this spring of clear water. So I would have us pray God that he will cause us to love with all our hearts this treasure of Holy Poverty who is so noble that God himself is her servant.”

I could not get anything out of the sermon today

"I could not get anything out of the sermon today." A very common remark made and heard.

It may be true indeed that there are some occassions and some preachers that are bad - for whatever reasons: ill-preparation, not preachig according the Word, trying (to impress) too much... .

Apart from lovingly praying for them and lovingly telling them, we should not attempt anything beyond that. As we must understand the emotional attachments one can have towards one's sermon.

But what about ourselves? We have a recent sharing at our care group on why "I could not get anything out of the sermon today" as the words say "Blessed is he who reads, blessed is who listens."

Some of the "reasons" for "The message does not speak to me today":

• I don't remember it.
• I just sit there to "listen".
• It just does not click or click.
• My feelings, emotions, mind are not ready.
• It does not address the issues I have right now.
• I know all the points

Is not the words about HIM? The Bible is first the revelation of GOD, "WE" are the derived message.

The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.

Traveling Light

Twelve hundred years ago in China a middle-aged man named P’ang Yun loaded everything he owned onto a boat and sank it all in the Ting-t’ing Lake. After that, we are told, “he lived like a single leaf.”

See him there in the early morning, treading water in the middle of the lake, watching the last bubbles rise from the depths. The air crisp and quiet. The lake misty and as still as sky. Then turning, stroking toward the shore.

Traveling light - imagine this meaning: unencumbered journeying, a graceful way of traveling through life like a single leaf. Now imagine another: the light by which we journey, the light that shows the way. Our traveling Light.
“How much should I carry with me?” is the quintessential question for any journey, especially the journey of life.

Jesus: The Ascending Way of Man

Jesus: The Descending Way of God

Jesus: The Ascending Way of Man

“Make your own the mind of Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, did not count equality with God something to be grasped. But he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, becoming as human beings are, and being in every way like a human being, he was humbler yet, even to accepting death, death on a cross.” (Philippians 2:5-8)

/... did not count equality with God something to be grabbed...

Jesus: The Ascending Way of Man.... He stooped himself so low.

Jesus, give me a push -- to my career goals, to my financial goals, to my desired relationship, to a better future.

Spiritual Trial

How horrible it must have been for the apostles when it seems as if Christ had deceived them – luring them with attractive prospects – and then reversing the whole thing so dreadfully on the cross.

But it cannot be otherwise in our relationship with God. There has to come a moment (specifically, when all our purely human world of concepts is toppled), when God seems to be a deceiver. Yes we will have many weak moments when we will long for the good old days, when it will seem to us that we could love God better if our relationship with him were as it once was, when God pulled us along by adapting to our own ideas. But God in his love will not comply.

This is the truth. Really and truly. Anyone who has the faintest idea of what it actually means to die to the world knows that this does not take place without terrible agonies. No wonder, the, we cry out, sometimes even rebel against God, because it seems to us as if God is deceiving us, we who from the beginning became involved with God on the understanding that God would love us according to our idea of love but now see that it is God who wants to be loved and according to God’s idea of what love is. But, of course, God is still infinite, infinite love. Just hold fast to this – that it is out of infinite love that God performs this excruciatingly painful operation. Yes, it is painful, yet it is all the more necessary.


“If a person is actually to be an instrument of God’s will, then God must first of all take his from him. A fearful operation!”


Taken from Provocations – Spiritual Writings of Søren Kierkegaard, complied and edited by Charles E Moore. Section VI - Thoughts that radically Cure: Excerpts and Aphorisms

When the Burden Is Light

Christ does not lead people out of the world to paradise where there is no need for wretchedness. He does not, by magic, make this life into worldly delight and joy. No, he teaches what he demonstrates by example: that the burden is light even if the suffering is heavy.

Often, when we speak of carrying burdens, we distinguish between a light burden and a heavy one. We say that it is easy to carry the light burden and hard to carry the heavy one. But what about a burden is both heavy and light? It is about this marvel I want to address.

When someone is on the verge of collapsing under a heavy burden, but the burden is the most precious thing he owns, he declares that in a certain sense it is light. When in distress at sea, the lover is just about to sink under the weight of his beloved, the burden is most certainly heavy and yet – yes, ask him about it – it is so indescribably light. He wants only to save his beloved’s life. Therefore he speaks as if the burden did not exist at all; he calls her his life. How does this change place? How is the heavy burden made light? Is it not because a great thought intervenes, a though that marks his love? Is it not with the aid of the thought of being in love that change take place?

Similarly, Christ says, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matt 11:30). There is only one thought, one single idea that contains faith’s transformation of a heavy burden into a light one. This thought is that the burden is beneficial, that the heavy suffering laid on one can have a purpose.



Taken from Provocations – Spiritual Writings of Søren Kierkegaard, complied and edited by Charles E Moore. Section VI – Anxiety and the Gospel of Suffering

Pray Until You Pray

Pray until you pray. That is a Puritan advice. It does not simply mean that persistence should mark much of our praying – though admittedly that is a point the Scriptures repeatedly make. Even though he was praying in line with God’s promise, Elijah prayed for rain seven times before the first cloud appeared in the heavens. The Lord Jesus could tell parables urging persistence in prayer (Luke 11:5-13). If some generations need to learn that God is not particularly impressed by long-winded prayers, and is not more disposed to help us because we are garrulous, our generation needs to learn that God is not impressed by the kind of brevity that is nothing other than culpable negligence. He is not more disposed to help us because our insincerity and spiritual flightiness conspire us to keep our prayers brief. Our generation certainly needs to learn more about persistency in prayer. Even so, that is not quiet what the Puritans meant when they exhorted one another to “pray until we pray”.

What they meant is that Christians should pray long enough and honestly enough, at a single session, to get past the feeling of formalism and unreality that attend not a little praying. We are especially prone to such feelings when pray for only a few minutes, rushing to be done with a mere duty. To enter the spirit of prayer, we must stick to it for a while. If we “pray until we pray”, eventually we come to delight in God’s presence, to rest in His love, to cherish His will. Even in dark or agonized praying, we somehow know we are doing business with God. In short, we discover a little of what Jude means when he exhorts his readers to “pray in the Holy Spirit.” (June 20) – which presumably means it is treacherously possible pray not in the Spirit.

Such advice is not to become an excuse for a new legalism: there are startling examples of very short, rapid prayers in the Bible (eg. Neh 2:4). But in our generation, we urgently need this advice, for many of us in praying are like nasty little boys who ring front door bells and run away before anyone answers.

Pray until you pray.


Taken from pp. 35 of “A Call to Spiritual Reformation – Priorities from Paul and His Payers” by D.A. Carson.

Treasure (1 of 2)

One day they arrived in a town famished, and in accordance with the Rule, went to beg for bread for he love of God, Saint Fancis going along one street and Brother Masseo along another. But because Saint Francis was undistinguished in appearance and short of stature, and was therefore considered a poor, miserable little man by those who did not know him, he collected nothing but a few morsels and crusts of dry bread. But Brother Masseo, who was a tall and handsome man, was given good large pieces and even whole loaves.

When they had ended begging, the met again outside the town to eat at a place where there was a beautiful spring, and beside it a fine broad rock, on which each laid the alms he had received.

And when Saint Francis saw that the pieces of bread obtained by Brother Masseo were far better and larger than his own, he was filled with great joy, and said,
"O Brother Masseo, we are not worthy of so great a treasure!" And when he had repeated these words many times,

Brother Masseo replied, "Dearest father, how can one call this treasure, when we are so poor, and lack so many things we need? We have no cloth, no knife, no dish, no bowl, no house, no table, and no man or woman to wait on us."

Then Saint Francis answered:
“And that is what I call a great treasure, where nothing has been provided by human labour, but everything has been given by divine Providence, as we can see clearly in the bread that we have collected, in this fair table of stone, and in this spring of clear water. So I would have us pray God that he will cause us to love with all our hearts this treasure of Holy Poverty who is so noble that God himself is her servant.”


Taken from Eerdman’s Book of Christian Classics – A Treasury of Christian Writing through the Centuries., compiled by Veronica Zundel. Original text taken from “The Counsels” by Francis of Assisi.

To Suffer Christianly

What is decisive in Christian suffering? It lies in the fact that it is voluntary – “on account of the Word” and “for righteousness’ sake.” The disciples left everything to follow Christ. Their sacrifice was voluntary. Someone may be unfortunate to lose everything he owns and has; but he has not given up the least thing. Not like the Apostles! Herein lies the confusion.

In today’s Christianity we take ordinary human suffering and turn it into a Christian example. “Everyone has cross to bear.” We preach unavoidable human trials into being Christian suffering. How this happens is beyond me! To lose everything and give up everything are no synonymous. To the contrary, the difference between them is infinite. If I happen to lose everything, this is one thing. But I voluntarily give up everything, choose danger and difficulties, this is something entirely different. When this happens it is impossible to avoid the trial that comes with carrying Jesus’ cross. This is what Christian suffering means, and it is a whole scale deeper than ordinary human adversity.

To suffer Christianly is not to endure the inescapable but to suffer evil at the hands of people because you voluntarily will and endeavor to do only the good: to willingly suffer on account of the Word and for the sake of righteousness. This is how Christ suffered. This alone is Christian suffering.


Taken from Provocations – Spiritual Writings of Søren Kierkegaard, complied and edited by Charles E Moore.

Now may Israel say

Psalm 124
1 If the LORD had not been on our side— let Israel say—
2 if the LORD had not been on our side

How would Israel have said - "if the LORD had not been on our side"

In triumphant shouts
as victorious slogan

...In sober realization
as silent admission


let me say "... if the LORD had not been on my side..."
To admit one's dependence on God is not as easy as it seems.

Following Jesus WHO Part 2 (Kung Fu Panda)

In Mark 8:27, Jesus asked a question “Who do people say I am?”
In Mark 8:28 - The disciple replied. "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets."In Mark 8:29, Jesus asked a 2nd question “But what about you?” “Who do you say I am?”In the 2nd question, Jesus turned the reply around and demanded a deeper, internalized and personal reply.The KEY question in the Bible keeps asking is, “WHO is the Jesus you are following?” To get our “following” right, we need to get Jesus right."But what about you?” “Who do you say I am?”It is a question we must have a reply to or try to have a reply.

"Who do people say you are?"
“But what about you? Who do you say you are?”

It is OK if you have nothing to say.

Right thing to do and Right doing it

As in any other addiction, when we become addicted to our own self-images, they begin to control us.

For eg. I am seduced and enticed by a certain image of myself as a whole, holy, loving man who is well on his way to becoming free from attachments. Whe the image comes up in my prayer, it causes me to pose and posture.
I find myself trying to make my prayer fit my image of how a holy man would pray. I no longer really invite God into my prayer. It becomes an act a scene I play out on my own stages for my own edification. God is there in spite of this silliness but for the time being, I am unaware of that saving fact.
So we become addicted to our own self images.

- 'Self Image" from Addiciton and Grace

I am always very conscious that I am very conscious of my religion self-image, especially during Church Services. I have been telling God, take it away as I am play acting and I don't like it.
The images of Christian Li Boey, good Christian Li Boey, responsible Christian Li Boey, leader Christian Li Boey,... ... God-loving Christian Li Boey.

I am conscious when I am singing, when listening to the sermon, when preparing to receive the Holy Communion - the kneeling, the reciting, the praying, the singing.

He broke it one night... ... After meeting up with a friend, and felt really needed to pray for the family. I was thinking about praying in bed since it is late. Then I felt I should kneel and pray, somewhat....
This is the 1st time I felt I want to kneel and pray. So off bed, going to kneel down...
While I was kneeling down, a parallel image of me kneeling down at Service during Holy Communion mirrored.... My thoughts paused and I heard "this one is real, those were play acting"

The attachment to the image of Christian Li Boey, good Christian Li Boey, responsible Christian Li Boey, leader Christian Li Boey, God-loving Christian Li Boey, broken.

Do you have any religious self-image?

We are righteous by faith.

Retiring From, Retiring Into (Draft)

Was talking to a church friend on work during the tea break of a seminar and was asked how we see ourselves forward.
I told her the thought I have learnt in recent and trying to figure out is what I should be retiring into. I felt I am on a differnt vocation exploration from previous. I am looking for something I can retire into for good all the way, to the end of my life.

I am not looking at 45, 52, 60 or 62 (though I am still looking for the $1,000,000).I am looking to retire into rather retiring from.

And that really make going forward ever promising.

Will we have a Master?

A debate sometime back "Will Singapore have a Master level (Da Shi Ji) artist, scientist, philosopher.... "

I am incline to say "No, we will not."
Because a Master requires both TALENT and TIME. Without either, we won't have it.

Once there was pride in having a good lifelong vocation. But now the notion of a lifelong vocation has not only become rare but unacceptable.
Talent is thus not allowed to be developed over Time.

A more cruel reality, Master is somewhat nature and nurture...Many of us are pouring in large amount of Time in our non-Talents that make more economical sense.

We need a general culture-wide encouragement and respect for a vocation well-pursued.

Following Jesus WHO??? (WISE 1)

In Mark 8:27, Jesus asked a question “Who do people say I am?”

In Mark 8:28 - The disciple replied. "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets."

In Mark 8:29, Jesus asked a 2nd question “But what about you?” “Who do you say I am?”
In the 2nd question, Jesus turned the reply around and demanded a deeper, internalized and personal reply.

The KEY question in the Bible keeps asking is, “WHO is the Jesus you are following?”
To get our “following” right, we need to get Jesus right.

"But what about you?” “Who do you say I am?”

It is a question we must have a reply to or try to have a reply.

The Dogs wear no watches.

I took some time off from work on the New Year eve and went to the beach early morning.
Roamed around and finally parked myself under a coconut tree near to a restaurant.

Two stray dogs were near. Dug a hole and basking in the sun to warm up their bodies after a cold night. While I was journaling down my thoughts for the old year passing and the new one arriving - my past and my future...a little burdened...

Then the dogs got up, played with each other a little and walked off.

I looked at my watch to see if it was time to leave... and a thought caught me "the dogs wear no watches" and they do understand something that I miss.


Ecclesiastes 3 - A Time for Everything
What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

Word Game

When we have too many careS, we become Scare.
Then we need to realign the Christ in us (or the Core in us),
so that we may not be reaCtive but Creative

Along the way, By the way and In the way

When did simple, essential things in life such as resting, eating, and even answering the nature's call become Along the way, By the way and In the way

What is productivity?

Answered Prayer - Part 2/2

Of course I am not trying to be Joan of Arc - the Gungho prayer warrior.

I am the P.U.S.H (version 2) type.
Just feel we need to be aware.

In prayer, there is our humanness - of a desired outcome.
But also in prayer, there must be the Godness - of Thy will be done.

Answered Prayer - Part 1/2

As believer, we are told when we pray, 3 things can happen.
God could reply "Yes", God could reply "No", or God could reply Wait".

As believer, at times, we also say or hear others say
"God answered my prayer." or "God did not answer my prayer."

But aren't all the 3 replies considered "answers" from God. So didn't God answer prayer in either "Yes", "No", Or "Wait."

So what are we really saying when we say "God answered my prayer." or "God did not answer my prayer."

P.U.S.H. - Pray Until Something Happened
What is the Something?
Or should it be P.U.S.H. - Pray Until Specified Happened.

Fast Lane or Right Path

We have a discussion on Psalm 1 today and the topic of discussion was Fast Lane or Right Path.

We admit being on the right path is the way, but my question and observation is we still try to fast lane, many a times, 'if we can'.

Though hard to admit, but think about it.
If if our normal day to day dealings, we still tend to think about taking the Fast Lane and do tend to take the Fast Lane, what makes we think when it comes to spiritual matters, we don't adopt the same attitiude.

If we claim we don't, two possibilities (in my opnion)
1) We are hypocrites, or
2) We act 'too right' with God.

Minding Your Own Business

You were walking and minding your own business, very happily.
Soon, those around started adding this, that,to you, and subtracting this, that from you. And no longer you can mind your own business.

Sinning twice

We sin twice whenever...

Before - we sin because we don't think God can or will... just like Eve and Adam.
After - we sin because we don't think God will... God will not forgive me, I am so sinful.

Carly Simon "You're so vain, you probably think it is about you."

Secondhand (Alan Jones)

Alan Jones -

One of our problems is that very few of us have developed any distinctive personal life. Everything about us seems secondhand, even our emotions. In many cases we have to reply on secondhand info in order to function. I accept the word of a physician, a scientist, a farmer, on trust. I do not like to do this. I have to because they possess vital knowledge of living which I am ignorant.
Secondhand info concerning the state of my kidneys, the effects of cholestrol, the raising of chickens, I can live with.

BUT when it comes to question of meaning, purpose and death, secondhand information will not do.
I Cannot survive in a secondhand faith in a secondhand God.
There has to be a personal word, a unique confrontation, if I am to come alive.

Is it the ice or is it us?

Is it our faith in the ice or is it the ice which saves us when we skate across the lake in winter?

It is the ice that saves us, and it is our faith in the ice to bring us to skate.

Faith - God gives and we receive.

Sins - BC and AD

Sins - Before Christ and After Christ.

Being a Christian for more than ten years, though I may not be sinless and am to sin less, but do I really sin less or do the sins transform?

Consider what we considered as sins before we are believer, those sins we struggled with and have victory over.
I trust we do "crucify" some of the obvious one - such as premarital sex, orgies, adultery, reading/watching pornography, drunkardness, drugs, smoking (?), malicious sensless gossips, cruelty, occult/witchcraft.

Have we really sinned no more, sin less or have sins (subtly) changed their manifestations. "We don't do those sins anymore, but we do these sins now - and in the name of Christ."

I have heard behaviour is a learnd response (towards envioronment and people) and is goal directed.
Have we really crucified the sins or have we changed our sinful habits (according to the envioronment and people)?

What have we crucified and what are we really to crucify?

How about Mary? - The Urgent, Good and the Needful

In the story of Luke 10:38-42.
We ususally make a comparison of Martha and Mary, or Mary over Martha, or just focus on Martha, because many a times we are in the shoes of Martha.

How about Mary?
Jesus has commended Mary for sitting at His feet and listening to what He has said.
We have imagined a position of bliss, sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening to Him, while Martha was busily preparing.

We also think does Mary really deserve the compliments of Jesus. Is it overrated? Is Jesus just in his compliments?

Is it so easy to be the position of Mary?
I think not. Why?

(Of course, we have to believe Mary is not a natural skiver.)


First, we are "doing" being. We also strive to do something. To be able to pull ourselves away from such internal pressures to restrain ourselves from doing something is not so easy.

Imagine further, a troop of guests just arrived at their home. It is not just Jesus, it is Jesus (!!!) and his disciples. If some VIPs arrive at our homes, church or offices, will we be able to do just the "minimal"? Don't we yearn to do something to make sure they feel welcome and taken care of?

So I don't think it is easy for Mary as well.


Also, Martha, Mary's elder sister was expecting (or demading) Mary to help out and has even made a "complain" to Jesus (their VIP guest) about Mary for not helping.

Imagine you are Mary and you know your elder sister Martha is so very busy preparing and calling out to you to help. It could be the needs of the church, the ministry or another brother and sister in Christ screaming at you. How to face such genuine external pressures when the other party may not understand our "inaction"?


I think the internal and external pressures of Mary was great and the wisdom to know how to deal with it is not easy one.

So I believe Jesus is indeed right in saying "... only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

You cannot and will not get lost in the King's Park

Last June, I went to Perth, Australia. I was there a few days earlier than my brother and his family. I decided to take those days on my own easier and I visited the King's Park on the morning of the 2nd day of arrival, intending to do just the King's Park real slow and easier. It was a very enjoyable day with a guide driving us around and showing me the differnt types of plants in the Park. I explored further on my own with the plenty of time I have on hand, with the Park's map.

When my brother and family came, we visited the Park again. They wanted to drive around in the Park and I wanted to make another stroll. So we agreed to meet an hour later at the other end of the Park.
There were more than one way to reach at the other side of the Park. I took a map, decided on the route I wanted and my way. The beginning was easy as I can use the highway as my navigation and the route was distinctive and easy.

After 20 min, I reached a part where the highway was not visible and those who were walking the same path as me have all gone ahead. Suddenly I seemed to lose my way.
I began to be a bit anxious and tried to read the map but I could not connect the map with my acutal position.
I thought I saw a landmark but turned out otherwise.
Though there were some joggers and cars driving around, I don't know how to ask for help or hitch a ride as I don't know which way they are heading.

I turned left, walked some distance, still cannot make out my direction and I walked back. Turned right, same thing happened, I walked back.

I felt I would not make it to the other side of the Park in time now, though an hour was ample time.

I decided to go back to the Visitor's Centre - the starting point of the Park. Feeling lousy that I did not get to enjoy my stroll and could not make it to the other end.

I told my brother I was tired and decided to go back to the Visitor's Centre.
I did not dare tell him I have lost my way in the King's Park (such a joke).

In retrospect, I wonder how I could allow myself to think that I was lost and decided not make the way ahead... because One Cannot and Will Not Get Lost in the King's Park..

Likewise in life, We Cannot and Will Not Get Lost in the King's Park... because the King will be guiding us...

Counterfeit

The counterfeit market is quite a booming one.

Some of the reasons we give (ourselves) for buying counterfeit:
1) It is the design, not the brand. I like the design.
(Well, isn't it the same thing?)
2) They are pricing it too high and making too much from it, it is not fair. I 'pay' what I think is the reasonable price.
(Well, they never force you to buy. You pay yourself only.)
3) What want to buy counterfeit if I can afford the real thing.
(Well, poverty isn't really the issue here, is it? Will you die not having it?)

Of course you have more yourself, don't you?

Bottomline:
We want the "real" thing but we don't want to pay the price.
We want to be seen having the "real" thing but not pay the price.


The counterfeit mentality has moved into the church as well....
The price of Christianity is so high, the cost of following Christ is so high.. but we want 'Christ'.
So how? Counterfeit christianity market booms...

Let's re-argue

We want the "real" thing, we pay the price we deem fair for it, and we own a counterfeit,... hoping it will pass as the real thing to those around and (amazingly) hoping it will pass as the real thing to ourselves.

There is something illogical here.

++++

Part II

Of course there are the more "self-professed honest and bold" ones who would say, "Well, I am buying a fake because I want to buy a fake. I have the money, but I don't want to buy the real thing, I want to buy the fake."

How should then to respond to such 'righteous' declaration? Or it is better left not to respond.
Well, I have yet learnt how to respond to this.

++++
The supplier is always willing and able to meet our price, question is do we want to meet his price.

Our Work, Our Yoke

Today towards the end of the sermon (2008.01.13), the pastor mentioned about the Tiredness in the congregation, especially on work.

Our incorrect understanding of work has resulted in Work being a Yoke upon us.

We work
- to attain Freedom from our financial worries, Freedom from being made redundant, Freedom from needing to work (!)
- to earn our Righteousness with our loved ones, our peers, society as a whole and ourselves(!)

And our Work .. our deemed path to freedom, our deemed path to righteousness, has become Our Yoke of Slavery.

Matthew 11: 28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

New Year 2008 - In Tandem with God

9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.

My prayer and hope is I will surrender a bit more to God in 2008.

I pray to spend more and regular time with God - a time that is not driven by my own agenda or driven by any seemingly God's agenda.

but a time to spend enjoying God and all His gifts to me - praise, prayers, reading His words, fasting (even), working, all done in tandem with God...in rythm with God...

What is the beauty God has set in my heart? My prayer is for God to allow me to fathom it more each day...

I know this will require a little more of letting God... but I have to...because I want to happy, I want to eat and drink and be satisafied not only in the stomach, but in spirit...

satisfaction in all his toil —this is the gift of God - my prayer and pursue....

SILENCE – Our Wordy World

Over the last few decades we have been inundated by a torrent of words. Whenever we go we are surrounded by words: words softly whispered, loudly proclaimed, or angrily screamed; words spoken, recited, or sung; words on records, in books, on walls, or in the sky; words in many sounds, many colours, or many forms, words to be heard, read, seen or glanced at, words which flickers off and on, move slowly, dance, jump, wiggle. Words, words, words! They form the floor, the walls, and the ceiling of our existence.

It has not always been this way, There was a time not too long ago without radios and televisions, stop signs, yield signs, merge signs, bumper stickers, and the ever-present announcements indicating price increase or special sales. There was a time without the advertisements which now cover whole cities with words.

All this is to suggest words, my own included, have lost their creative power. Their limitless multiplication has made us lose confidence in words and caused us to think, more often than not, “They are just words.”

Teachers speak to students for six, twelve, eighteen and sometimes twenty four years. But the students often emerge from the experience with the feeling, “They were just words.” Preachers preach their sermons week after week and year after year. But their parishioners remain the same and often think, “They are just words.” Politicians, businessmen, ayatollahs and popes give speeches and make statements “in season and out of seasons,” but those who listened say: “They are just words… just another distraction.”

The result of this is the main function of the word, which is communication, is no longer realized. The word no longer communicates, no longer fosters communion, no longer create community, and therefore no longer gives life. The word no longer offers trustworthy ground on which people can meet each other and build society.

One day Archbishop Theophilus came to the desert to visit Abba Pambo. But Abba Pambo did not speak to him. When the brethren finally said to Pambo, “Father, say something to the archbishop, so that he may be edified.” He replied: “If he is not edified by my silence, he will not be edified by my speech.”


The Way of the Heart – Connecting with God through Prayer, Wisdom and Silence by Henri M Nouwen

SIMPLICITY – Traveling Light

“How much should I carry with me?” is the quintessential question for any journey, especially the journey of life.

Twelve hundred years ago in China a middle-aged man named P’ang Yun loaded everything he owned onto a boat and sank it all in the Ting-t’ing Lake. After that, we are told, “he lived like a single leaf.”

See him there in the early morning, treading water in the middle of the lake, watching the last bubbles rise from the depths. The air crisp and quiet. The lake misty and as still as sky. Then turning, stroking toward the shore.

Traveling light - imagine this meaning: unencumbered journeying, a graceful way of traveling through life like a single leaf. Now imagine another: the light by which we journey, the light that shows the way. Our traveling Light.

What would it mean to live like a single leaf? What would it mean to make one's life a journey of simplicity? a journey unencumbered, uncluttered, without distraction - a journey of focus and intention? a journey of lightness and light?

In 1889, at age 17, my grandfather left family and friends in Sweden and sailed to America. He packed all his worldly goods in a small wooden chest. Today I have that chest near my writing desk. Its wooden slats weave around a rectangular frame; the hinged lid curves upward. The wood itself, now broken in places, has darkened.

Pondering this old chest, I see a young farm boy , fear and adventure in his eyes, setting inside all but the essential as he packs for his journey, summoning from within himself a quiet simplcity. I watch him board a boat in the early morning mist and launch into the deep.

I have not traveled much myself, but I do keep some handsome suitcase in my attic. Also two backpacks and three knacksacks, a duffel bag, a briefcase, several tote bags, a canvas rucksack, an ash-woven pack basket, three sleeping bag, and a tent or two. Looking at my grandfather's wooden chest, I realize it could not possibly hold everything I now require for a summer picnic. And unlike P'ang Yun, I cannot imagine where I would find a boat large enough to row all I own to the middle of some lake. Evidently, I intend to keep my worldly goods very much afloat.

Why? Do the lack the necessary lightness? the neccessary Light?


“We take delight in things; we take delight in being loosed from things. Between the two delights, we must dance our lives”


Taken from Journeys of Simplicity by Philip Harnden.